yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize