sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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