don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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