i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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