we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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