hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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