You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
