Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
