do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
