What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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