Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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