so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
