Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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