too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
