So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
