I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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