All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
