Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
