apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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