the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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