we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
