just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
