it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you win again, gameday.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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