I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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