And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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