lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
