also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
