office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
