your room smells of hookers.
And success
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
