Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
