Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize