So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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