yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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