My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
