ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
