i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We were destined to go to rehab together
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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