He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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