Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
