Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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