It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
