you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
whose parrot is this?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's shark week go big or go home
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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