Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
