i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
