Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
