god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
