I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
