I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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