Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do vagina's smell?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
