it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
is it fun? or sober?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
