Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
