READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize