And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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