none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize