sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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