i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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