remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
