Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
