Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Floor bacon is actually really good
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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