dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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