fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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